Words that can’t be spoken out...

Assalamualaikum inche blog...

There’s a lots of thing that i want to say out loud but i just can’t..these days i’ve been doing something that maybe can hurt someone’s heart..my mistakes, i am apologizing for it..i’ve been meeting a friend that used to be my classmates and he did become a very good person that maybe i also could fall for him..but i didn’t because there’s someone else still in my heart and i don’t want to talk about that someone..hmm...

Now, i wanna tell you about a new friend of mine that fall for another friend of mine also..at first, i want to be ‘bridge’ for her to reach him but then i guess ‘him’ already had someone else..so, pity to ‘her’.. but somehow, i thought i’m the one making her falling for him..so, i feel i am the one should be blamed, my fault..huhu..i know how it felt if we can’t reach someone that we admired..i’m really sorry to ‘her’..i just, and only can say, that i hope ‘her’ meet a better person than ‘him’..

So, next the story of ‘him’..he is my former classmates at kopu..he’s now optometrist in the making..haha..he’s wearing spectacles,so being an optometrist suits him well..so, i guess, here, i’m saying he’s good looking, kind, pure face, and maybe anyone could fall for him just like ‘her’..haha..i’m almost, but luckily i’ve got someone else stuck in my heart, so, it is not easy for me to fall in ‘love’ with him..hahahha...in other words, i’m thankful for having someone stuck in my heart..haha..it’s what keeping me from being attracted to someone else..

So, i guess saying thanks to the one stuck in my heart also categorized as words that can’t be spoken out loud..

There’s also a story of mine..there’s someone that says he’s sincerely want to be the one for me and want me to do the same for him..but, i just can’t promise him that i will be the one for him because there’s someone else in my heart..he got upset and angry after i said that to him and said a few words to me that shows that he’s really disappointed with me..after a while he’s ok and want me to forget what he said earlier and continue like nothing had happen..he even sent a few songs lyric to persuade me, and few sweet message..but, inche blog..i’m not someone that can be bought with some sweet message..i am me..

Only one person, can moved my heart even though he only said take care, it is enough for me to be happy for all day long..and that optometrist maybe also can if he did...hahaha...but that imposibble..

I don’t want to lie about how i feel, so, i want to be honest with myself and people around me..i don’t want to have high hopes for him..he’s just someone that i marked, so that i won’t fall for anyone for the time being..hmm...my conclusion for now...

Falling for someone that i don’t deserve and i can’t reach are something that i want to avoid..being myself i what i want to focus on..studying, achieving my target and becoming a better muslimah..

I’ve got lots to achieve in my life..lots of things i want to do..all these about feeling really doesn’t important enough for me to focus on..there’s a day that i will found someone, so i will patiently wait for that day..i don’t want to waste my time doing or grab something that wasn’t sure enough would be mine..

I’m extremley happy with my decision..Insha ALLAH, this time and after this i won’t be having any ‘jiwa kacau’..haha...kamsahamida My Creator for helping me taking care of my heart..these are words that should be spoken out loud!

Lastly, my wishes, everyone should be happy with their life..so, love your life!saranghae...:)

April 8, 2013
~doing pre-lab...anatomy coming through...:(


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