Mencari Sebutir Permata

permata....mngapa sukar dicari..mngapa bila ak sedar ia semua sudah terlambat??

adakah kerana ak yg tidak cukup layak untukknya,,atau adakah krana Allah SWT ingin mngujiku dan mnunjukkan sesuatu supaya ak mghargai setiap insan yg hadir dlm hidupku..???
persoalan yg cukup kerap bermain di benak ku sejak akhir2 ini...pencarianku x pernah berakhir, kmana ak pergi ak akn mncarinya..ttapi semua yg ak jumpa semunya kaca walaupun pada awalnya ku sangka permata...semalam hatiku sakit lagi..sakit yg teramat shingga ku rasa ak x ingin lagi merasai ksakitan itu...ak rasa mataku berair, tapi ak cepat tersedar ALLAH SWT sentiasa ada untukku di kala ak kecewa...jadi untuk apa cecair jernih itu keluar dari mataku????semuanya tidak berbaloi..setiap yg ak lakukan hanya kerana ALLAH SWT...ak sedar ak bukanlah insan yg baik tapi ak kan berusaha untuk  jdik insan yg terbaik...itu pintaku..dalam menempuh khidupan yg tggl brapa hari lagi disini..ak harap hatiku akan cukup kuat..tidak akan rasa sakit dan terasa lagi...ak mohon supaya hatiku kebal dgn segalanya...wajah yg manis utk mnutup segala kekecewaan itu..ak ingin mgadu pada Maha Penciptaku bahawa hatiku masih tidak sembuh, tapi ak x berdaya...tapi ak yakin bahawa Dia selalu dgnku...

ak akn kuat...hatiku pasti sembuh...benarlah kata org terkena kaca, sakit...mmg semalam ak terkena kaca lagi...sakitnya hatiku susah diungkapkan..hanya Penciptaku tahu...hmmm..ntah knapa kepalaku sakit dan pening lagi...ak sudah tidak tahu mahu berbuat apa lagi, ak hanya akn terus berusaha dan berdoa supaya sakitku hilang dan ak mampu untuk mula menelaah buku yg dari semalam mnungguku...

Ya Alllah..ak tahu ak kuat dan hatiku pun kuat...tabahkanlah hatiku dan juga diriku...hanya padamu ak berserah..ak yakin semua ini pasti ada hikmahnya untukku...

3 zulhijjah 1431
   

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