Lelaki macam dia

Assalamualaikum inche blog..

Ok, tajuk di atas adalah based on tv drama yg saya tengok hari ni. Quite surprised saya bole layan sampai habis..sebab saya adalah kaki cerita korea..dan sekarang saya tengah tunggu ‘scarlet heart, Goryeo sbb cerita ni baekhyun berlakon dan juga Hwarang sbb citer ni bts v aka taehyung berlakon. So, I really can’t wait for the drama..heheh..

Kembali pada tajuk balik..lelaki macam dia..cerita ni masih lagi on going, so still tak tahu lagi ending macam mana, but as usual rasanya memang happy ending cuma the way towards the happy ending is what we are waiting..the, last episode yg saya tengok tadi adalah di mana heroin pergi ke persiapan majlis tunang hero…so, sedih la perasaan si heroin sbb tak dapat bertunang dengan hero but heroin tuh cam bodoh jugak sbb pergi persiapan majlis tuh..dah tahu hati sakit, sedih, kecewa, patutnya tak payah la pergi kan..tapi dah ceritanya camtuh..tapi takpe sebab bukan episode last lagi, sbb bila sampai episode last, mesti hero akan bersama heroin jugak just wait for the last episode..

Kalau saya lah,saya cuma akan doakan dari jauh je tuk lelaki yang pernah saya suka tuh..semoga dia bahagia bersama dengan insan pilihan hatinya aka jodoh dia..sbb saya tahu saya pon tak kuat, takut kalu perasaan tuh ada lagi..actually bagus jugak pergi majlis dia, sbb maybe masa tuh baru rasa segala harapan tuh dah tak ada and in my case, it was never was just me and my own feeling..he was never having the same feeling just like is not that, I wait for him, it is just I don’t open my heart for anyone..being in love is not what I want anymore..watching him happy maybe…ahhaha.. actually cam sadis pulak love story saya..

So, my previous love story “sibajubiru”, recently, I text him, got the courage..haha..and now I know that he’s, I guess my heart feel good, I just need to wait for him to get settle is just like waiting your son getting married…haha…ok, maybe my heart’s lying, I don’t know for sure but the excitement waiting for his reply was not there anymore..maybe because I know he’s, now I would never text him anymore..the way he reply the text was like trying to say that ‘I should stop texting him’..he quickly reply that ‘dah ada pilihan hati’ I understand that, so I won’t bother him anymore..i should just delete his contact number..but when I think again, maybe I should keep it for now because network is, the end of my love story…

Actually, I text him and wished him happy birthday because I dream of him these day but only one the dream, he asked a lot about me, but it was just only a dream, in real life, he was never curious about my life…and the thought of never meeting him gave me the courage..hee..i would never meet him, why would I be feeling awkward or, I text him and the end..hahah

So, for lelaki macam dia “sibajubiru”, he is no longer in my life, actually was quite a long time, since exo come into my life, he was already out, but I keep him because he is my friend..i hope and wish you all the happiness and success in life with your love ones..take care sibajubiru..

So, for lelaki macam dia, tv drama, I will watch the last episode..hehe…hopefully it is good, nice and warm ending..

August 7, 2016

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Moments during Degree years, Final Year (PPG)

Assalamualaikum inche blog....

PPG had been named by my closest friend, Akma salleh. Honestly, at first I didn’t really like the name but I just accept it because I’m not that creative to think of another name..haha

So who is PPG members? So, the members are the one with the diploma holder in my class. I guess that how we become close with each other. With the same age, you can talk more freely and without the “kak” in front of your name, you will become more comfortable with each other.

PPG is actually what we called as my gang during my degree. Gang means group of friends, you talk, play, study, housemate and others all together. So here they are..

So many pic, so one behind the scene…hahahha…one of my classmate said that he thought that PPG stand for perempuan-perempuan could him..haha..but such funny thing coz we are crazy sometimes..nature of every human being..

this is not the behind the scene pic but "swag" pic..hahha

Lastly, I searched for a nice and well behaved pic but couldn’t find so, here the pic with one of the lecturer during AGD..

Thanks for being my friend during my degree years. Thanks a millions times..hahah..because I had learned a lot from them..hopefully we will ever meet again chingoo yah...annyeong PPG..

July 29, 2016

~better future ahead please

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Moments during Degree years, Final year (Friends)

Assalamualaikum inche blog…

It has been a very long time since I wrote here…I miss you a lot but I’ve got no idea about what to write and lately my skill in writing had degrading..haha..the feeling of writing was not there..

Ok, but since today title is about “friends”, I better write about them not about myself…

Today I would like to introduce my classmate during my degree years. We are known as Chee5e generation. Why chee5e? Haha..

In my university association, which is NADA we had been requested to name our batch with food and due to my batch are the fifth batch we had decided to name it as Chee5e. Eventhough cheese had been known not too healthy food but it was one of the sources of protein. Thus, if we took it in controlled amount, it won’t become unhealthy food to us. So, Chee5e is a good name. It is delicious and everybody loves it.

These are the memories during my final year specifically after the tough months of clinical attachment.

Annual Grand Dinner 2016 had been organized for us, so here I am with my classmate on 15th of July 2016 with the theme Hawaian, NADA Ohana Luau at De Palma Hotel, Shah Alam.

This is the picture with my sporting lecturer of the night..haha..i will put his name for my references. Hopefully he will remember me as good student and put on good words for me..hehe

During this Pra Graduan Night, not many of my classmates come due to their own personal reasons. People have their own space and we should respect it, so it doesn’t matter to me. This was held at Centro Grand Imperial Ballroom, Klang. It was nice aura, knowing that Uni celebrate the last moment in your study. It was held on 22nd of July, in the middle of Finishing School Module, so it does feel that you are graduating. I like the feeling..hahah..


After finishing the tough clinical attachment, we need to fulfill the university requirement for what we called as Kemahiran Insaniah for Finishing School Module. I had been informed that only a few universities had done this Finishing School Module. Thus, to graduate form Uitm, I had to finished this.

Actually this module did teach us a lot about job hunt, interview and also resume. So, thanks my uni. J
These may and may not be the last moments we are together as cheese. The convocation is the next year, so it is a long way before me meet or we may not meet again. I hope and wish for the best for all of you. Till we met again classmate..

July 29, 2016

~still writing resume

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Dreams and fantasies

Assalamualaikum and hi inche blog

The post before this is going down memory lane but now, I want to talk about my dreams and fantasies..haha..i call all of this as dreams and fantasies because it was too good to be true. And It takes real destiny “takdir” for it to become true and reality.

My first dream…

I dream to meet an architect and fall in love and get married to him and have my dream house as a present. It would be very lovable for me. Having my own dream house built by someone so dearly to me. If I did become one of the health professional, I want to meet him as my client or patient. Someone that I care and treat to become better. I guess I had been watching too much korean drama, so I dreamt to meet my love like that. A drama meeting..hahhaa…so much fantasies..

In real life, for me, falling in love is very hard, I guess only “sibajubiru” is successful in entering my heart. So far, for now, I guess I can’t be a health professional yet, I had so mush to much to learn and too much that I need to remember…huuu..but I won’t give up. I did study 4 years in dietetics, so it is such a waste if I didn’t work in that field. So, if my dream comes true, I would be very happy.

In my imagination, an architect would be like matlutfi, kind, full of sense of humor, handsome and cute and also someone who is Islamic.

My second dream…

All my friend said that this is really a fantasies..hahah.. I dream to meet a korean idol, which is someone who can sings, dance and plays music instruments very well..and now I am a fan of BTS..BangtanSeonyungdan..haha,,this season and semester I am in love with their songs. They are so much younger than me in age. I like them, because they made their own music and songs and they tried so hard until their music is being recognized by the world. I am impressed with their hardwork. I want to work as hard as them to achieve my dreams. So one day, I want to go to their fan signing event and have a picture with them. My impossible dream is to become their noona and become their family and friends,

Sometimes, I do dream to have a husband like them, handsome and talented but if I have a husband like them, I would not live in peace because there would be too many fans in their I guess my dreams stops at being their friends.

But if I am able to meet them, maybe I would not become too impressed with their handsomeness. Some people said, the stars looks very beautiful because it is far away but if it is near us, maybe it would not very beautiful. But still if I had the chance to have someone like that as my husband, I would be very grateful. He can sings to me when I’m stressed, play music to me, sings my favourite songs..the only lacking which is the important one is  he is not Islamic. So, the dream is very impossible to become true so it become fantasies.

So, the dream can still be achieved if I want to meet them during fan signing. But, the effort must be large because to meet them is very hard, and until the time I can meet them, maybe at that time, they are not famous like I hope one day I can achieve that dream..

The end for my dream now..
Sometimes, people dream something that is impossible to achieve so that they have the courage and put more effort in achieving it. So the dream become possible to achieve..
I can dream having them in my life but as long as they are idol, I guess their life belong to the public.
Life is not fantasies, it is reality…
#dreams #BTS #midsembreak
November 7, 2015


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A Week At My Umah Sewa..


Ok, this time, I will wrote in malay plus english.. sy dah lama giler tak menulis di blog ni..nak kata busy sgt, busy sgt2 sebab dah tahun akhir, tapi if the passion to write tuh tak ada still xleh nak write jugak.

Seminggu cuti semester ni, I have decided that I won’t go home to my hometown. I stay with one of my housemate. If all of them going home, I guess I will go home too because I am a bit scared to stay alone in my rent house. I do miss my hometown because it has been a long time but thinking all of the tutorial, assignments and all of the papers that I need to finished and submit, so I’ve decided to stay in palam finishing all of it. Once I go home, I won’t be able to do all of that because being home, meaning free of all assignment…haha..that kind of feeling of holiday, not doing anything, just rest and lazy around..

First day

Jadi, cuti hari pertama sy di rumah sewa, sy telah menonton drama melayu tajuk “aku bukan buaya”.  Citer ni agak jiwang, so banyak lagu-lagu melayu yang agak jiwang contohnya lagu hafiz, tapi sy tak ingt pulak tajuk..haha…ingt suara hafiz je..dan sy sendiri tak percaya sy boleh stay tgok cter bertahan sebab citer ni byk sgt lagu-lagu yang sy suka..hehe..lagu afghan..tetiba sy nak tgok pulak cter ni..lagu jodoh pasti bertemu. Dan sy berjaya habiskan tgok drama ni sampai habis. As always, the drama have happy ending. Ok la drama ni bg sy..takla best sgt sbb typical malay drama. In real life, rasanya tak mungkin terjadi kot..haha..i don’t believe in drama and fantasies.hehe

The thing about myself, bila sy dengar lagu jiwang ni, sy akan teringat kisah-kisah zaman dahulu kala tak banyak pengalaman jatuh cinta sbb saya sendiri pon tak tahu cinta tuh macam mana..tapi dalam hidup sy, jatuh cinta tuh pernah sy rasa sbb bagi sy cinta tuh bila sy inginkan yang terbaik untuk org jatuh cinta dgn org yang sy tak pernah mungkin sukakan dia, sayangkan dia, cintakan dia..semuanya mungkin..hahaha

Semasa sy dalam proses sukakan ‘dia’ tuh, nama dia selalu ada dalam doa sy..kadang-kadang bila sy sedih, atau stress, dia akn muncul dalam mimpi sy, buatkan sy mampu tersenyum dalam keadaan yg stress.. sy tak tahu knp sy sgt suka doakan dia, Allah swt kata, jika kita sukakan seseorang, kita doakan yg terbaik untuk dia. Sepanjang dia di sana, sy selalu doakan dia. Hoping the best for him and let him always in the right path. Sy panggil dia “sibajubiru” sbb one of my friend called him that..haha..Actually, he looks very nice wearing blue colour of baju melayu. That is why he is named as “sibajubiru”.

Lama-kelamaan, hati sy makin sembuh, nama ‘dia’ tak lagi berada dalam doa sy. Kita tak boleh sukakan manusia lebih daripada kita sukakan ALLAH SWT. Mungkin hati sy dah sembuh, sy tak lagi sukakan dia..bila sy dengar he is good now. I guess I stop liking and just wishing all the best for him. Sy gembira kenali dia sbb sy belajar, erti rindu, erti sayang, erti inginkan yang terbaik untuk dia, erti tak kisah bila dia tak pernah sukakan sy. Dulu mungkin sy sedih dan kisah, tapi sekarang itu semua dah tak penting. Zaman cintan-cintun ni dah berlalu dalam hidup sy. The phase is gone already..

Sekarang focus sy hanyalah untuk habiskan belajar and contribute something to the community especially to my family and loved ones.
#sibajubiru #midsembreak
November 7, 2015

~first day mid sem break

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Kill me, heal me

Assalamualaikum and hi inche has been a while since the last post. Lately I am under extreme discomfort and stress. I have been thinking too much and too hard. I guess I think 200 miles ahead what happened now. I thought about all the consequences and everything.

So, to overcome and actually run from all the stress, for this weekend, I’ve been watching Korean drama entitled kill me heal me. It is a story about a man with dissociative personality disorder also known as multiple personality disorder. As I already know the plot, I was hoping the story to move faster but actually for me, each episodes have their own strong part. I loved every episode starting from episode one. And also for every episode, there is sadness. Sometimes it overwhelmed me and I cry. This drama helps me tears down and release all the unnecessary feeling I am having. The hero is ji sung and the heroin is hwang jun eun if I didn’t misspelled their name. their chemistry is very good and I liked it so much.

The story evolved from a rich heirs who had this disorder and gets help from a psychiatrist doctor as the heroin. The hero is cha do hyun and the heroin is oh ri jin. I feel very sorry for cha do hyun because he seems so lonely and he got no one he can talk to. Meanwhile, oh ri jin is a very bright and happy personality. Quite the opposite. I love this drama more than “Hyde, Jekyl Me”. This story is more real and ji sung acts so cool for each of the character. Suddenly I loved ji sung.hahaha..

From the drama I’ve learned a lot about how this disorder develops and by healing all the personality heart, this disorder can be cured. As a friend or a person closed, we should never let our friend lose their hope or let them let go the rope. We should always have their back and support them. The second hero also was very cool, as always the second hero is always the support one but in this drama there is no triangle love between the second hero and the heroin. So I am quite impressed.

The story continues as cha do hyun realize oh ri jin is the key to cure his disorder amd eventually oh ri jin is the reason he split his personality. Thus in the end, oh ri jin helps with the scattered puzzle and he is cured. The love line in this drama is also different from any drama that I had watched. Both cha do hyun and oh ri jin don’t say by words that they loved each other but they expressed it with their action. Thus, this drama is not very childish about pupply love and so on. It shows how strong they are connected with each other and how it develops pure love.

Apart from that, there is no ‘tarik tali’ between the main leads. So I liked it. It was honest and true to each other, they expressed what they feel and go for it. The whole story mostly about the personality that cha do hyun had. It was very funny when ahn yo na appears, dangerous but romantic when shin se gi appears, suicidal thought when ahn yo sub appears, elderly character when perry park appears, cute and childhood memories when  nana @ cha do hyun small appears and mysterious but unharmed when Mr.X appears. It was very nice watching all the personality and each character appears.

It gave me thought how I should appreciate being who I am. I am thankful though for My Creator for always be with me so that I can bears all the pain. But for this drama cha do hyun can’t bears the pain alone causing him to split and create his own personality that can helps him bears the pain. Korean drama always taught me something about life, don’t give up life so easily, trust our own ability and make the best out of nothing.

I’ve been watching this drama for two consecutive day..hee..keep replaying the part that I loved..hee..then, after two days, I’ve start doing my assignment. Hopefully I can survived this semester and keep going until the end of my journey. I can’t wait for the end but nervous about what is along the road. Would I be ok if I stumble and cry? Can’t I fight back and keep moving?

The future is very unpredictable and fragile, what we did today may or may not determine yesterday. So, we must always be prepared to face it as we don’t know what could possibly happened next.

For now, take care!

May 4, 2015

~be happy

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Thoughts In Life

"some people learn from mistakes, but some aren't"
"sometimes when you think you know that person, you're wrong because people change through time"
"if you can have negative thoughts about me, why can't I, it is a decision"
"why you want to know how I feel, when you never tell me yours"
"why you questioning my act , when I never questioning yours"
"how long can you keep it until you lose it while your heart no longer in it"
"why questioning the change of heart when you can't never control it"
"why questioning the past when you can't never change it"
"why gave forgiveness, when your heart can't truly accept the fact"
"why seek forgiveness, when you don't truly feel the guilty of what you did"
"why need a reason, when you can't see and accept it, it'll become an excuse"
"when you think negative all the time, all you see is black even though it's white"
"when life hit you hard, be soft and tough, so you won't break in the middle of road"
"there's something need to be keep hidden for the sake of something"
"some people traumatized due to extreme experiences"
"you don't wears my shoes and I don't wears yours, so don't judge and upset if my opinion is differ from you"
"you had your secrets, my secrets mine"
"having trust is part of relationship"
"trust strengthen the relationship, if you don't have one, yours is fragile"
"respect is earned, trust is build"
"the way you see him is not the way I saw him"
"not important to you but valuable to me"
"if you know someone pretending, you know it because you are a good 'pretender' or 'fakers'"
"don't you think, it's rude to say someone is not sincere enough?"
"so, are you the one that is the most sincere person among us all"
"when people don't include you, how can they say you're isolating when they're the one doing the 'excluding stuff""
"if you won't take in my hand, why would I reach out my hand for you?"
"useless and waste of time doing"
"I don't asked for your understanding, just a little respect and accepting my decisions"
"people always have reason why they do, but do they need to reveal the reason just to make you satisfied?"
"have you ever thought that, they maybe don't want to share the reason to you?"
"do you like being pushed for something you don't like"
"people only share what they feel with someone they comfortable enough to talk"
"I don't mind if I am not the one you're comfortable enough to share you secrets, you have your choice"
"everyone had the choice, so do I"
"everyone had secrets, secrets shared with family, secrets shared with closed friends, secrets shared with friends and secrets only you yourself know"
"it's written in your face, you don't like it, but still I thought positive of you. I am not foolish, I'm just being optimistic"
"it helps you keep going even the path keep hurting yours"

Mac 23, 2015
~doing assignment..

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